


coruscate beauty

by neverlxnd



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Feelings Realization, Fluff, House Party, Huang Ren Jun is the new kid, Internalized Homophobia, Jealous Mark, Kisses, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & Mark Lee Are Best Friends, Light Angst, M/M, Mark Lee (NCT) is Whipped, Mentioned Lee Jeno, Mentioned Na Jaemin, Post-High School, Soft Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Underage Drinking, but ya barely notice it, idk what to tag smh, jaeyong if you squint, johnjae if you squint, kidding, or - Freeform, sorry yeet, this is really just me deflecting, whatever floats your boat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 12:22:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16218950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neverlxnd/pseuds/neverlxnd
Summary: summer is almost over, mark thinks the only constant and safe thing in his life is donghyuck, he follows that.





	coruscate beauty

**Author's Note:**

> for the sprouts uwu  
> i didn't proof-read this yet so yeet

Mark thinks whoever made up the phrase, “it’s five o’clock somewhere” probably has a sufficient amount of money coming in to be drinking whenever they feel like. And is probably a drunk. Mark isn’t a young rich bachelor, nor is he a drunk, but it’s times where Jaehyun pre games with him that he does feel like the lifestyle some other young boy is living. Mark tips his red cup, slurping back the liquid until he sees the white at the bottom of the cup. The orange juice hits his stomach first, the saccharine liquid smooth and tangy. The vodka comes just as quick as the orange juice goes, burning up his throat and tingling his mouth. After making a face of distaste, to which he earns a chuckle from Jaehyun, Mark feels the numbing warmth in his stomach and he smiles. Jaehyun empties his cup and comes up beside Mark to clap him on the back.

“End of the summer already,” Jaehyun sighs. “Any plans now that you’re done high school?”

Mark shrugs, internally sighing. The whole summer has been a consistent stream of questions, mostly from his parents and rarely from his friends–even then his closest friend, Donghyuck, had only asked him _how_ he finished high school, not bothering to even breathe a word about college.

“I’d rather not think about any of that tonight,” Mark says, ignoring his parents’ voices in his subconscious.

Mark makes a move to go sit on the couch but Jaehyun’s palm on his chest stops him. For a second, Jaehyun looks at him expressionless and Mark internally groans because out of all people, he doesn’t need _Jaehyun_ lecturing him about his future. That’s what he has Johnny for. Mark looks around the living room for the said giant. Where _is_ Johnny? When Mark looks back at Jaehyun, the older is still looking at him with that same empty expression.

“Are you really going to lecture me, right now?” Mark raises an irritated eyebrow.

Jaehyun leans in close, ignoring Mark’s slight shove to his shoulder.

“No, I was just going to tell you that your zipper is down.”

The older flicks his forehead before walking into the kitchen, cackling to which Mark rolls his eyes. His eyes widen when remembers what Jaehyun said and looks down to the band of his jeans where the zipper is most definitely down. He’s just finished zipping up his jeans when Johnny comes down the stairs with his mouth slightly agape and furrowed eyebrows. The older makes a notion between Mark and his hand, where it lays at the button of his jeans.

“My zipper was down,” Mark simply says with a shrug.

Johnny rolls his eyes and leans on the railing. “Whatever, I came down to remind not to do anything stupid tonight.”

As if he had a radar for these kind of words, Jaehyun struts back into the living room with his cup freshly filled.

“Who’s stupid tonight?” The older asks, tipping his cup foreward into his mouth.

“You are,” Johnny pointedly stares before nodding his head towards Mark. “If you don’t watch over this little cub at the party. And take it easy on the drinks, it’s called pregaming for a reason.”

Jaehyun rolls his eyes and leans against the wooden railing in front of Johnny. “It’ll be _fine_. Are you forgetting that I practically raised him.”

“False, I raised him. All you’ve done is teach him bad words and heighten his chances of alcohol poisoning.” Johnny hums to himself when Jaehyun opens his mouth, only to close it a second later.

Mark coughs, ignoring his two friends. “Anyways, can we go now? If I don’t start drinking again, I’ll probably change my mind and stay in with Johnny.” Mark points at Johnny in his pajamas as if to prove his point.

“Who’s the old man now?” Johnny beams, Jaehyun curling his lip in disgust.

“Still you.” Jaehyun mumbles, pushing Mark out the front door.

There are perks to being friends and roommates with Jaehyun. For one, Mark always finds himself with an invitation to a party from the older. And secondly, Mark doesn’t have to fear for his life when he and Jaehyun make their way to the party because of the older’s boyfriend.

“Hey babe.” Jaehyun hums out, leaning across the middle compact to press a kiss to Taeyong’s cheek.

“What is that, your second cup?” Taeyong points to the red cup in Jaehyun’s hands, to which the older leans back sheepishly.

“So what if it is?” Jaehyun mumbles, ignoring Taeyong’s pointed stare. “Baby, I have a high alcohol intolerance. This is doing _nothing_ for me.”

Like most situations, Jaehyun pouts until Taeyong forgets what he was scolding him about. Taeyong rolls his eyes, brushing it off with a wave of his hand.

“No offense, but I’d rather puke tonight from drinking not from you guys being gross in love.”

Mark turns his head to the side, where Donghyuck sits. The light from the younger’s phone illuminates his face, and Mark can tell that he’s wearing makeup again tonight. There’s hints of brown and black, but that’s the only thing Mark can make out due to the lack of light. Donghyuck seems unbothered by Mark’s staring, choosing to scroll on, what he thinks, instagram.

“You do realize that I’m the one driving, right.” Taeyong throws a glare over his shoulder at Donghyuck.

“Technically you’re not driving right now, but continue, I’m listening.” Donghyuck snickers when Taeyong reaches behind his seat to aim for the younger’s head, Jaehyun doing his best to keep his boyfriend in the front seat.

“You can get out and walk if you want to be a smartass,” Taeyong frowns, buckling his seatbelt.

Donghyuck pouts. “You wouldn’t do that to me.”

Mark looks at Taeyong, intrigued by the same routine of every party they go to together. True to Donghyuck’s words, Taeyong relents and shifts the car into drive. Everyone knows that Taeyong would never cause harm to Donghyuck–actually, Mark’s sure that Taeyong couldn’t harm a _fly_ even if he wanted to, much less a petite boy with a snappy mouth.

“Mark.” Donghyuck tugs on the sleeve of Mark’s shirt, pulling him sideways and barrelling him into the younger’s shoulder. The younger winces and frowns. “ _Ouch_.”

“You were the one who pulled me.” Mark reasons, leaning back against Donghyuck’s shoulder.

“How was I supposed to know you turned into Captain America.”

Mark opens his mouth to object when Jaehyun’s voice stops him from doing so.

“That’s true, actually.” Jaehyun shifts in his seat, slightly turning his head to look at the two younger boys. “When did you get so toned?”

Donghyuck seems to be grossly intrigued now, locking his phone and completely disinterested in whatever he was previously trying to show Mark. Even Taeyong is stealing glances in the rear-view mirror. Mark rolls his eyes.

“I didn’t.”

Donghyuck mimics Mark in a distorted voice before taking the hem of his sleeve and lifting it, revealing his bicep.

“For once in your life, don’t be so modest. Even Jeno mentioned something about you gaining muscle, and he basically lives in the gym nowadays.” Donghyuck pointedly stares at Mark, releasing his shirt sleeve and resting back against the seats.

Mark suddenly feels an odd weight in his stomach, and he’s almost positive it’s not the alcohol. Shaking his head, he sighs and looks out the window at the passing trees. The rest of the ride is quiet, save for Donghyuck’s occasional groaning about ‘when are we getting there’, and ‘why is it taking so long’. Mark is one second from jumping out of the car when they pull up to the curb of a house. It’s obvious from the amount of people loitering in the front yard, that this party started some time ago. Donghyuck is the first to hop out of the car, ignoring Taeyong’s calls for him to be careful. The older sighs and looks at Mark expectedly.

“It’s alright, I got him.” Mark acknowledges Taeyong’s mumble of thanks, walking in the direction he saw Donghyuck take off in.

Mark is all for parties, he loves parties actually. Meeting new people, forgetting about reality. The only downside is that the parties Mark usually comes to, Donghyuck tags along too. It’s not that Mark doesn’t like Donghyuck joining, but it gets a little frustrating when he spends most of the night hunting for chestnut brown hair and a loud mouth. Tonight is different though, it seems because it doesn’t take long for him to find the younger. Donghyuck sits in the kitchen, perched on top of the kitchen island where a stranger, a boy stands in front of him. Mark cocks his head to the side, furrowing his eyebrows. That heavy weight from earlier returns and he sighs to himself. He needs another drink.

Pushing that weight further down, he squeezes through the bodies in the living room until he’s grasping the edge of the kitchen counter with a breathe. Mark thinks it’s probably been too long since he’s been at a party, he forgot how compact and sweaty everything can get.

“That didn’t take you long.”

Mark rolls his eyes, facing Donghyuck who is still seated on the island.

“Well you seemed pretty damn adamant on getting drunk, so I thought the kitchen would be the first place to look.” Mark ignores Donghyuck’s scoff in favour to grab a bottle of beer from the mass in the middle of the counter.

“You just wanted to grab yourself a drink.” Donghyuck rolls his eyes.

Mark realizes that the boy from earlier is gone now, probably left when he was busy pushing through the crowd of sweaty bodies. There’s something picking at his skin that he can’t place, Mark wants to say it’s curiosity but he can’t seem to pin it as said feeling–it’s something else, he just can’t quite figure it out.

“Who was that guy you were talking to?” Mark asks, suddenly hyper aware of the tone of his voice.

Donghyuck shifts beside him and Mark turns his head to look at the younger, who’s staring back at him with a frown.

“What guy?”

“There was a boy standing beside you, before I got here.” Mark points to the living room, as if to prove his previous whereabouts.

Donghyuck tilts his head, like a confused puppy before he’s opening his mouth wide in realization.

“Oh. That was Renjun.” Donghyuck shrugs nonchalantly, as if this boy is someone Mark is familiar with. He isn’t.

Mark raises his eyebrows, waving in hand in a circle as if to urge Donghyuck to go into depth. The younger eyes his hand with a bored expression, twisting his body to grab his red cup by his back. When Donghyuck still refuses to elaborate, Mark rolls his eyes and steps in front of Donghyuck, almost between the younger’s legs but not quite.

“Who’s Renjun?” Mark finally asks.

Donghyuck smiles. “I don’t know, just met him.” Mark resists the urge to roll his eyes for the millionth time since he met Donghyuck years ago. “He’s new, said he just moved here a couple weeks ago.”

“From where?” Mark isn’t really all that interested, he’s a stranger to him and it’s not like Mark was the one talking to him, it was Donghyuck. Still, he tries to pretend he’s interested.

“China.”

Mark raises an impressive eyebrow. “Long way from home,” he mumbles against the rim of his beer.

“That’s what I said!” Donghyuck grins.

Mark finds Donghyuck’s smile infectious, so he smiles too. When Donghyuck chooses to look around the living room space from where he’s seated, Mark finds himself cringing at the music. Whoever is in charge of DJing tonight isn’t doing a very good job, he thinks Johnny would probably do a better job–even if all he plays is DJ Khaled songs.

“Where’s Yong and Jaehyun?” Donghyuck asks, lowering his gaze to meet Mark’s eyes.

Now that they’re in the proper stream of light, Mark can see the brown caressing Donghyuck’s eyelids, a warm orange blended in with the smokey chocolate color. If Mark was the least bit interested in makeup as Donghyuck is, he’s sure he’d know what technique the younger used to make the color palette painted on his eyes–but he doesn’t, so Mark’s stuck staring at the sweep of glitter in the corners of Donghyuck’s eyes, gleaming underneath the yellow light in whoever’s kitchen this is.

Donghyuck waves a hand in front of Mark’s face, snapping him out of his trance he didn’t know he was in. Mark shakes his head, taking a swing of his beer.

“Did you hear what I said?” Donghyuck raises an eyebrow.

Mark shakes his head.

“Of course not.” Donghyuck scoffs. “I said, I saw Taeyong and Jae go upstairs.”

This time it’s Mark’s turn to roll his eyes. “So much for looking out for me, Jaehyun.”

“I’ll look after you, baby lion.” Donghyuck coos, pinching Mark’s cheek for extra measure.

Mark slaps the younger’s hand away, to which Donghyuck cackles at, throwing his head back and almost tipping himself backwards. Mark reaches a hand out, grabbing Donghyuck’s neck to steady him. The younger lurches forward, slowly slipping down off of the island so he’s standing in front of Mark. Donghyuck’s laughing has ceased, forgotten in the mix of cheers and bass lead music. Mark forgets about his hand around the back of Donghyuck’s neck at the same time he remembers it. He’s torn between pulling away, but he finds himself staring at Donghyuck’s eyes again instead. Mark isn’t stupid. He knows Donghyuck is attractive, it’s never been a question of how good looking the younger is, but rather a question of whether or not he’s attracted _to_ Donghyuck. To which Mark would simply say–no. He’s been friends with Donghyuck since they were in diapers, all throughout elementary, middle school and now, high school. It would be weird, Mark thinks. Wouldn’t it? Mark groans internally at himself. He came out tonight to _not_ think about thinking. He retracts his hand, pretending not to see Donghyuck’s slightly flushed cheeks.

“What should we do?” Donghyuck suddenly asks.

Mark looks around at the party and sighs, although he’s not sure Donghyuck hears it over the music.

“I don’t know. What do you usually do?”

Donghyuck grins. “Hide from you. What do _you_ usually do?”

“Look for you.” Mark rolls his eyes.

After they chuckle in unison, they grow silent and choose to drink instead of talking. Mark is still standing beside Donghyuck, their shoulders pressed together while they overlook the chaos around them. Mark isn’t sure when he started thinking about the glitter on Donghyuck’s eyes, or the warmth the younger is radiating right now, but he catches himself before he can delve deeper and huffs out a breathe.

“Let’s go do something, we’re not seriously just going to stand here the whole night, are we.” Mark tugs on Donghyuck’s sleeve.

Donghyuck turns to face Mark, throwing him a disbelieving smile. Mark knows what that smile means, and by the way he feels himself pouting, he knows that he’s starting to get drunk–which means that it’s one of the rare times where Donghyuck is the one taking care of Mark’s clinginess.

“Fine, you big baby. Let’s go look for some games.” Donghyuck walks towards the living room, ignoring Mark’s whine of walking too fast.

Mark tries his best to keep up with Donghyuck, who seems to be weaving through people like it’s the easiest thing in the world. He’s almost too caught up in keeping his eyes locked on the back of Donghyuck’s shoes that his reflexes come in too late when the younger halts, sending Mark hammering into Donghyuck’s back.

“Ouch Mark, seriously. You’re like the Hulk now, can you be the tiniest bit considerate?”

Mark rolls his eyes, opting to pinch Donghyuck’s skin around his stomach and moving to stand beside him.

“Feel like playing truth or dare?” Donghyuck nods towards the group of teenagers gathered in a circle.

Mark eyes Donghyuck with raised eyebrows. “Really? Donghyuck, we just graduated high school.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes. “And? Come on, you said you wanted something to do.”

Mark watches the younger pout and pull at his sleeve, just the same as Mark did minutes prior. Mark eyes the way Donghyuck pushes his lips out, feels the gentle tug on his sleeve at the same time he feels his heart give a gentle tug. Donghyuck is pretty. Mark isn’t surprised by that thought. It’s a constant topic that comes up in his brain, ever since they started getting older, Mark could only focus on the way Donghyuck embraced his darker golden skin, he liked watching the younger take all of the rays the sunshine had to offer during the summer in Mark’s backyard. It wasn’t just Donghyuck’s skin that Mark thought about as they grew, it was everything else about him. Donghyuck’s beauty marks painted on his skin, Donghyuck’s chocolate brown eyelashes, Donghyuck’s lips–especially Donghyuck’s lips. Mark’s mouth parts in surprise.

_What?_

Before he can respond to Donghyuck, or his thoughts, the younger pulls him by the arm to join the circle of teenagers. Mark easily recognizes some of the students from their graduating class, the rest underclassmen that he’s briefly met before. Donghyuck’s talking beside him, but when he turns to the younger it’s not Mark he’s talking to. He watches Donghyuck talk animatedly with the boy from earlier. Jun? Mark quirks his head, sighing and cursing himself for his bad memory.

“Really!” Donghyuck exclaims beside Mark. “Me too!”

Mark is annoyingly intrigued. What exactly does Donghyuck have in common with this stranger he just met? He rolls his eyes at himself. It could be something simple–like the same taste in music, or the same birth year. Mark almost forgets that they sat down to play a game until a blonde boy stands up amongst the others, beginning to explain the game. Mark tunes him out, turning to Donghyuck instead.

“What was that about?” Mark nods his head in the direction of the boy beside Donghyuck.

Donghyuck shakes his head. “Nothing, Renjun was just talking about school.”

“Renjun?”

“Yeah, that’s the boy from earlier. We went over this already, Mark.” Donghyuck flicks Mark’s cheek before turning his attention back on the ringleader of the game.

“What about school?” Mark pushes.

By the way Donghyuck hesitantly opens his mouth, Mark already knows that they were most likely talking about college and he doesn’t want to make Mark feel inferior. But he doesn’t care. If Donghyuck wants to talk about how excited he is about college, then Mark wants to hear it. Just because he doesn’t know what he wants to do with his life, doesn’t mean Donghyuck shouldn’t know for himself, or be excited about it any less.

“Are you guys going to the same school or something?” Mark wants to ease the uncertainty in Donghyuck’s eyes.

Donghyuck nods. “We’re both going into the music program.”

“That sounds cool.” Mark smiles, hoping it’s enough to let Donghyuck know without words that it’s okay. Donghyuck seems to get it because he’s giving Mark a brighter smile.

“You could at least _try_ to sound interested.” Donghyuck jokes.

“I tried! What am I supposed to say, I don’t know anything about the music program, you never talk about it.” Mark gently shoves Donghyuck’s shoulder.

The small shove sends Donghyuck into Renjun’s side, the younger feigning pain. Donghyuck’s exaggerated fall causes Renjun to laugh, Mark rolling his eyes.

“Alright, who’s first?”

Mark looks towards the voice to find Chenle, an underclassmen, grinning and waiting for a response. A girl from Mark’s science class raises her hand, settling the maniacal smile on Chenle’s face. The girl, Yeeun, looks around the group of teenagers before settling on a boy sitting across from her.

“Hyunjin.” Yeeun grins. “Truth or dare?”

Hyunjin contemplates before picking truth, earning a chorus of groans and ‘ _boring’_  from the underclassmen.

“Is it true that you were the one leaving love notes in Seungmin’s locker?” Yeeun asks.

Hyunjin looks around the circle hesitantly before looking towards Chenle, as if seeking mercy.

“Punishment is seven minutes in heaven.” Chenle shrugs.

Hyunjin takes a deep breath before nodding. “Yeah, that was me.”

Yeeun seems satisfied with the answer, leaning back on her hands and urging Hyunjin to go next. The latter decides on picking Yuto, a graduate. The boy picks dare, resulting in him taking a shot of a mystery drink mixed by Hyunjin. Throughout the game, Mark finds himself enjoying it more than he thought, but maybe that has to do with the fact that Donghyuck throws his head back with a bubbly laugh every time someone does something utterly stupid. The younger is giggling with Renjun when Rocky picks Donghyuck, drawing the younger out of his fit of laughter.

“Donghyuck, truth or dare?”

Mark turns to look at Donghyuck. It’s a mystery to him as to why he holds his breath, as if he was the one that got picked instead of Donghyuck. The younger sighs deeply to himself, his chest rising slowly before it falls at ease.

“Dare.”

Mark internally rolls his eyes. Of _course_ Donghyuck would pick dare, even if Mark can tell the younger is nervous to his core.

“I dare you to tell us who your senior year crush was.” Rocky smiles innocently, as if he didn’t just ask Donghyuck to confess.

Mark’s only talked to Rocky once this year, at a pep rally for the basketball team. He was doing his warm-up while Rocky was stretching, the older of two mentioning his captaincy on the dance team. That was the only time Mark spoke with him, he seems like a nice guy but he can’t help but want to glare at the older for spreading the blush on Donghyuck’s cheeks. Most of the graduating class knows about Donghyuck’s infamous senior year crush. The younger would always post about a boy, a classmate that nobody ever really figured out. Not even Mark, who tried his best to pry it out of the younger. Not because he wanted everyone’s curiosity to settle or even his own, but because he felt wounded that Donghyuck wouldn’t even tell _him_ , his best friend, about his crush.

“And if I don’t?” Donghyuck asks, crossing his arms.

Rocky taps his chin thoughtfully before widening his eyes and lifting a finger in the air.

“You have to go into one of the rooms for seven minutes with one of us.” Rocky nods, affirming his punishment.

Donghyuck looks around the circle, his eyes linger on Mark for a second longer. For that one second, Mark silently hopes that Donghyuck does pick him to go in the room. Whether to save Donghyuck from spilling his guts, or to _actually_ play seven minutes in heaven–he’s not sure.

“Okay.” Donghyuck stands and dusts his hands on his jeans.

Mark feels like he should stand up since Donghyuck is probably going to pick him anyways, save themselves time and quickly get it over with. But Donghyuck’s voice stops him.

“Come on, Renjun.”

“What?”

Donghyuck looks at Mark with furrowed eyebrows. Mark stares back with a frown, silently asking ‘ _what the fuck_ ’. Donghyuck shakes his head and rolls his eyes before turning around and letting Renjun take his hand. Mark isn’t an impulsive person, he has a stable personality. He always plans things out, he makes sure to lay out all of his options and looks at his tools before going in. It comes as a surprise to himself when he reaches his hand out, fingers gently wrapping around Donghyuck’s wrist and the word ' _stay_ ' burning on the tip of his tongue.

“Wait, no. I–where are you going?” Mark wants nothing else than for the ground to swallow him up.

Donghyuck looks confused for a moment, settling on raising a questioning eyebrow at Mark. “Are you seriously asking me that right now?”

Mark forgets about the people around them, he forgets about everything except for Donghyuck’s hand wrapped in Renjun’s.

“Just–don’t go, stay with me.” Mark looks up at Donghyuck with pleading eyes.

“Why?”

Mark stills in place, frozen and refusing to move. Donghyuck’s eyes are lidded, a layer of glaze painted over his irises. The house is hot, emitting a level of sweat and heat that even Satan himself would hate. Donghyuck’s skin feels warm against his fingers, but everything feels warm with Donghyuck, Mark thinks, he’s just a warm person. Whether that be when they’re at the younger’s house, wrapping up in a blanket while they watch movies. Mark only now realizes that, maybe, it wasn’t the blanket around them that made him feel exceptionally warm but Donghyuck himself. Donghyuck is lovable, sensitive and endearingly rude at times, a personality trait that a stranger would pin it as him being a bitch, but that’s just Donghyuck. Unless you’ve spent hours on hours until the dawn with him, talked with him over things that won’t matter in the next five minutes, you will never truly understand what he’s like and care for who he truly is. Donghyuck gently wiggles his wrist, as if to snap Mark back and his body slightly sways from Renjun gently pulling him, his fingers intertwined with Donghyuck’s. He momentarily forgets that he’s at a party, in a living room filled with people who are watching their every move, but that doesn’t stop Mark from slipping his fingers from Donghyuck’s wrist to his fingers and holding onto them like it’s the last time he’ll see him.

“Just–stay.”

“Why, Mark? Tell me why you want me to stay, and I will.” There’s an urgency to Donghyuck’s words, a subtle intensity in his eyes.

Mark almost wants to stand up and lean in closer, close the distance until he can only see, feel and think Donghyuck. He knows exactly why he wants Donghyuck to stay. What he doesn’t want is to watch the two boys come down later, breathless and mussed hair. He doesn’t want to see the bruises that are going to be littered across Donghyuck’s neck and collarbones tomorrow, traces of Renjun’s lips left on his skin when it could be his own. Everything is crash landing now. Suddenly Mark can’t remember a time where he wasn’t there by Donghyuck’s side, where he wasn’t wishing that Donghyuck’s recent boyfriend wasn’t in the picture. He wants to kiss him, he wants to hold Donghyuck during their movie marathons and scold the younger for spending the last of his allowance on snacks, only to give in with a kiss and a promise to take him out for ice cream. So why is he so scared? Why does he loosen his fingers in Donghyuck’s hand and let it drop to his side?

“I–nothing, sorry.” Mark looks at the carpet before fully standing up. “I’m gonna find Jaehyun, call me when you’re ready to go.”

Despite the heavy iron weight in his chest, he stands up and turns away without sparing a glance at Donghyuck and Renjun–missing the flash of disappointment in younger’s eyes, before he lets Renjun lead him up the stairs. Mark’s sure one of the boys from the circle of teenagers calls out to him, but he lets his feet carry him past the kitchen, past the bodies until he’s standing in the backyard by himself. Surprisingly, there’s no one else in the grass pad filled with flowers and plants. He quirks his head, silently asking why there’s a raging party inside when there’s a garden filled with precious plants out back. Mark scoffs at himself when his mind falters back to Donghyuck. Maybe if he wasn’t tipsy right now, he’d go home and ignore his thoughts about the younger. About how the party is just like Donghyuck, loud and packed with energy but then there’s this garden. The garden that’s filled with delicate flowers and large plants, neat and _so_ put together. Mark thinks Donghyuck is a lot like the garden.

“You can’t pick those.”

Mark whips around at the intrusion of sound, finding himself looking back at Chenle. The younger slides the glass door shut before coming to stand beside Mark in the plush grass.

“How come you’re out here?” Chenle asks, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

“I just needed to get out of there, I guess I forgot how stuffy parties can get.” Mark shrugs. “And I wasn’t trying to pick your kept garden.”

Chenle giggles, bumping his shoulder gently into Mark’s. “I was joking. Well, not really. My mom would kill me if anybody plucked from her garden.”

“What? This is _your_ house?” Mark’s lips part if surprise and he raises his eyebrows at the younger.

Chenle grins with pride and nods. “Yep.”

Mark stays silent in favour of waiting for an explanation from Chenle about how his parents let him have a party, or even _where_ are his parents. The younger doesn’t seem to give him one, so Mark sighs.

“Where are you parents?”

Chenle hums. “Paris, this time–I _think._ ” The boy pouts as he looks towards the ground in thought.

“What do you mean, _this time_?” Mark watches the way Chenle’s bright smile tugs downwards, only for a moment before he’s grinning once again.

“They’re always away on business. I don’t blame them, they have pretty important jobs.” Chenle shrugs.

Mark moves to sit down on a quant bench tucked away in the corner, Chenle joining him a second later. “If you don’t mind me asking, what do they do?”

“My mom is a marketing director and my dad is a financial analyst.” Mark finds himself stumbling over the words, trying to repeat them in his head. Chenle seems to notice his struggle, the smaller letting out a laugh. “I don’t know what they’re entitled to do either, so we’re in the same boat Markie-poo.”

“You can’t call me that. I’m older than you.” Mark pouts. A smile immediately spreads on his face when Chenle bubbles out laughter, the boy’s lips spreading wide and bright. “You don’t have to worry about me, Chenle. Go back to the party.”

Chenle rolls his eyes and leans his elbow on the back of the bench. “You really think I came out here to check on you?” Mark eyes the boy’s mischievous smile. “I was just making sure you didn’t pick my mom’s flowers.”

“Seriously?” Mark raises an eyebrow, giving Chenle an expressionless stare.

Chenle hums and taps his chin thoughtfully. “No. Partly.”

“And what’s the other part?” Mark asks.

“To figure out why you’re such an airhead.” Chenle flicks his finger against Mark’s forehead, sending the older backwards in surprise.

Did–did Chenle just _flick_ him in the forehead? Wait, scratch that. What does he mean about Mark being an airhead? He would be anything and everything _but_ an airhead–I mean, he graduated, right.

“What do you mean airhead?” Mark is back to pouting and he’s briefly reminded of Donghyuck.

Chenle rolls his eyes. “You’re seriously going to sit there and tell me you don’t know that Donghyuck’s senior year crush was _you._ ”

It takes one–two–three seconds for Mark to react, and when he does he’s silent as foxes in the forest. Chenle is patient though, letting his clasped hands rest in his lap and waiting for any sign of life from Mark.

“You’re lying.”

Chenle heaves a sigh. “Yeah, you’re right. I ditched my party to come outside, just so I can tell you Donghyuck’s crush was you and it’s all a prank. _Ha ha_.” The boy shoots Mark a deadpan expression.

Mark shakes his head. “There’s no way. I mean–no offense but how would you know? Last time I checked, Donghyuck’s only other friend is Jeno. And maybe Jaemin, but I think he mostly just talks to him about their shared hatred for Jeno.”

“You know Nana!” Chenle exclaims. Mark’s hands instinctively come up to cover his ears, but he lowers them before his fingers can reach past his chin. “We used to be in the same art class! It was off campus, but–wait, I’m getting off topic.”

Mark shrugs at Chenle’s pointed finger and heated glare.

“Let’s just say I happened to walk in on Donghyuck at the wrong time. Well–wrong time for him because I found out but perfect timing for me.” And there’s Chenle’s prideful smile again.

“Okay.” Mark stands up, throwing his hands up in frustration. “So what? I like Donghyuck. What am I supposed to do about it? It’s not like he still likes me, he’s upstairs with Renjun.”

It’s probably way past seven minutes by now, but Mark’s not really up for walking back into the party. Donghyuck could still be upstairs with Renjun, or his caramel skin could be tainted with pink from Renjun. Either way, he’s not going back inside. Maybe Chenle can help him climb over his abnormally huge ass fence.

“If you’re thinking of an escape route, there isn’t one.” Chenle interrupts his thoughts. “And secondly.” Mark tenses at the first contact from Chenle’s hand on his shoulder. He relaxes when the younger next to him sighs. “Why don’t you just talk to him? The worst thing that can happen is Donghyuck doesn’t feel the same. Won’t it feel better if you let it out, rather than keep it bottled up every time he’s around.”

Mark turns to Chenle with furrowed eyebrows and a frown. “Right. Telling my best friend of 18 years that I’m in love with him, and him not reciprocating _is_ the worst thing that can happen.”

“You’re in love with me?”

There’s always the cliche movie scene, with a click of a button or a snap of fingers, everything stops and freezes. Mark kind of wishes he was in that movie right now, otherwise he wouldn’t look so starstruck standing in Chenle’s backyard and praying to god that the voice doesn’t belong to who he thinks it is. It’s an odd feeling, to feel the ground underneath him as solid as a rock but having your body feel so light and insensible.

“Mark?”

Mark slowly twists his head to look at Chenle, as if to silently beg him to belong to the voice and not Donghyuck’s. Although, he’s not sure how he’d feel about Chenle asking if Mark is in love with him–probably better than what he’s feeling now.

“Damn, uh.” Chenle pats his pockets thoroughly, sucking in a breath. “I forgot my phone inside, I’m going to get it, be right back.”

In a matter of seconds, Mark feels his body come back but his heart is still racing as Chenle leaves, Donghyuck’s warmth replacing the younger’s.

“He’s really not the greatest liar, is he?” Donghyuck chuckles into the tense air around them.

Mark’s mind is racing, a million questions running a mile, a minute. Donghyuck releases a sigh beside him and if Mark were to move the slightest, his elbow would brush against Donghyuck’s arm.

“I didn’t know you were friends.” Mark opts to say, still refusing to meet Donghyuck’s eyes. The flowers in the garden seem to be more interesting right now.

Donghyuck heaves a sigh. “Mark, can you look at me?”

“Sure.” Mark nods. “I can, but I’m not going to.”

Mark can practically feel Donghyuck’s eye roll. Instead of reacting to it, he keeps his eyes trained on the deep violet tone of the flowers in one of the crates.

“Can you at least listen to me?” Donghyuck pleads.

It takes all of Mark’s strength to not crumble and turn, because even if it’s the easiest thing to do, it’s going to be the hardest to see Donghyuck walk away when he tells Mark that he doesn’t feel the same. So instead, he settles for a nod.

“Okay.” Donghyuck breathes a sigh. “Earlier, before me and Renjun–”

Mark tries not to wince but his body betrays him, his shoulder hiking up the tiniest bit.

“Before that, why did you ask me to stay?”

Mark shouldn’t feel like this is a hard question to answer, he has the answer, he has the mouth to talk but _nothing. comes. out._

“Mark.”

Donghyuck’s hands are warm against his shoulders, his palms soft and gentle on the cotton material of his shirt. They’re facing each other now, much to Mark’s dismay. He’d rather stare at the garden and avoid Donghyuck until he leaves the party. But he forgets every last thought he previously had when he finally locks eyes with Donghyuck. The younger’s eyes look sad, turned downward at the ends. Mark’s never seen Donghyuck look this upset since he found out he didn’t get the lead in the school play in their middle school years. To this day Mark still thinks it was rigged, Donghyuck had practiced day and night for the role and it broke his heart to see the younger show up at his locker with teary eyes and a gloomy smile. Donghyuck’s expression is the same as the one from years ago, minus the thin layer of tears. Mark wonders why he even wanted to look back at the garden in the first place, when someone like Donghyuck is standing in front of him.

Mark clears his throat, subconsciously worried about his voice cracking or sounding too rough. He nervously bites his lip before parting his lips to speak. “You know why Donghyuck.”

“What if I don’t?” Donghyuck bites his bottom lip and Mark studies the way the younger nibbles on the small piece of dead skin he’s chewing on. “Talk to me, Mark. Tell me _why_ you wanted me to stay.”

Mark can hear, can _feel_ the desperation in Donghyuck’s voice. There’s something pulling him back, something negative and wretched. A voice that constantly tells him, _no,_   _this is wrong._ It’s a voice that Mark is all too familiar with, it’s made a home in the back of his mind. Everything that’s happened during his senior year, the stream of questions from his parents about his future, his own doubts about what exactly it is that he’s going to do–his feelings for Donghyuck that he never realized were there. All of that has always had a response from the menacing voice in the corner of his mind. But he’s so _tired_ of hearing it, he’s exhausted from staying up at night and pushing those thoughts away. He wants it all to come out, so he lets it.

“I’m gay, Donghyuck.” Mark doesn’t wait a response, choosing to sit rather than stand. His legs are beginning to feel numb, and rather than to further embarrass himself in front of Donghyuck, he sits. Donghyuck joins him a beat later.

“So.” Donghyuck breathes. “You’re gay.”

Mark nods, he’s unsure of what comes after this. Johnny has taught him a lot of things growing up. He’s taught him how to cook basic meals so he won’t starve or go broke from too much takeout, Johnny was the first to show him how to properly string a guitar, he’s taught him how to handle his stress when it becomes too much. Although that last one, Mark is still still clearly struggling with. Of all the things Johnny has talked to Mark about, being gay and coming out wasn’t one of them. Although, it’s not Johnny’s fault. As far as Mark knows, Johnny had no clue, nor was he given any hints of Mark’s sexuality.

They sit like that in silence, the party seems a thousand miles away now. The music is dull in comparison to the sound of Mark’s and Donghyuck’s breathing.

“You don’t have to say anything.” Mark picks at the grass, pulling the weeds out by the tips and letting it slip from his fingers. Donghyuck seems to be doing the same thing and Mark can only hope Chenle doesn’t see the growing pile of picked grass. “I just needed to say it, I was scared if I didn’t say it now I would’ve never been able to later.”

“I don’t want to make assumptions, cause I’m not the most good-looking person there is. Well–maybe.” Mark snorts while Donghyuck has a soft hesitant smile. “But is this–is that the reason why you didn’t want me to go upstairs with Renjun?”

Mark rolls his eyes, abandoning his pile of grass to look at Donghyuck dead in the eyes. “Isn’t it obvious? You literally just heard me say that I’m–”

Mark’s lips become frozen when he realizes what he was about to say. Even though he pretty much confessed minutes prior, it still feels new and scary to even so much as _think_ those words.

“You’re what?” Donghyuck softly asks.

The younger’s shoulder is against his now, their thighs pressed against each other. There’s a gentle and patient tone to Donghyuck’s voice. It’s a wary contrast to his usual tone when he’s usually talking to Mark–it’s sharp and snappy, yet soft and serene at times. But even then, Donghyuck really only has one special tone for when he’s talking to Mark.

Mark looks at Donghyuck, finding himself staring into an abyss of brown specks and soft lips. He’s never thought of confessing his love to anyone before. Probably because he’s never actually _liked_ someone enough to say or feel it, not even his girlfriend of 1 year during his freshman year of high school, it didn’t matter how many times she spoke those three words to him, he never really felt the emotion to say it back. But Donghyuck is so pretty, surrounded by viridescent leaves and brilliant petals. It’s not the plants, it’s not the flowers, it’s not even the silver coruscate on Donghyuck’s glowing skin that makes him beautiful–it’s just Donghyuck. Breathtaking and alluring.

“I’m in love with you.”

It’s a mixture of feelings for Mark the second those words fall from his lips. It’s relief, it’s a weight he feels being lifted. But it’s also doubt and uncertainty. Mark’s not sure that this many thoughts and feelings are supposed to run through your body when you’re drunk, but then again he’s been outside for awhile now and he hasn’t had a drink since Renjun took Donghyuck upstairs.

“Anyways.” Mark breathes out, clearing his throat. “I guess we should go find Taeyong and Jae.”

Mark moves to stand but Donghyuck leans forward, pressing his palm flat against his chest, stopping him from moving.

“Hyuck, what–”

Donghyuck reaches his hand up, pressing his finger plush against the middle of Mark’s lips and silencing him. He can only watch now. His eyes trail down the length of Donghyuck’s nose, to the smooth edges of his cupid’s bow, down to linger on the beauty mark in the center of his neck. The younger flexes his fingers on Mark’s chest before bunching the fabric of his t-shirt in his hands until it’s a ball. For a second Mark thinks that Donghyuck’s going to punch him, he’s going to demand for Mark to never speak to him again. But instead of the harsh press of knuckles against his cheek, he feels soft touches from the pad of his fingers, followed by the press of Donghyuck’s lips against his own. There’s a surprised gasp in the back of Mark’s throat but he forces it down when he feels Donghyuck’s hand falter on his cheek. Just as he feels Donghyuck begin to pull away, Mark leans forward and grasps the younger’s hand in his own and intertwines their fingers. Countless nights of Mark making out with strangers at parties doesn’t begin to compare to Donghyuck’s lips. They’re plump and warm, the slight aftertaste of orange juice and vodka on them. It’s when breathing becomes a little tough that they pull back, slow at first and then altogether.

“So.” Mark breathes. “Does this mean you’re gay too, or?”

Donghyuck answers with the slap of his hand against Mark’s shoulder.

“This means I love you too, asshat.” Donghyuck huffs, giving Mark no time to react before he’s leaning his head down to rest on his shoulder.

“Thank you.” Mark feels his chest rise with a deep breath before letting it fall, despite his heartbeat racing.

Donghyuck huffs a breath through his nose. “For what? Loving you?”

“Sure.” Mark cranes his neck to look down at Donghyuck. “But I was going to say, for waiting for me. I guess I should’ve added myself to the list of people who could’ve been your senior crush.”

Donghyuck springs back with horrified eyes and a wide mouth. “You knew?”

“Chenle may have said something.”

“That traitor!” Donghyuck scoffs, narrowing his eyes towards the glass door leading inside. “I’m not buying him anymore bubbletea.”

Mark rolls his eyes. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

Donghyuck curls his lip, staring at Mark like he just ran miles in a marathon and refused to shower. “Mark, literally everyone in our class thought you were straight. You really expected me to confess when you were waltzing through the halls in khakis and calling Johnny ‘ _bro_ ’ every chance you got.”

“Alright.” Mark raises his hands with an eye roll. “You made some points.”

“Not just some, I made a whole graph.”

“Remind me why I love you.” Mark sighs.

Donghyuck responds with a kiss to his neck, his jawline, then his lips.

☽

“I really don’t know why you insist we move in separate dorms.”

Despite Mark not knowing what the future holds for himself, he follows Donghyuck to college. Despite Mark whining for the rest of the summer, Donghyuck doesn’t let him wallow for one second, like the good boyfriend he is. Mark always finds himself secretly thanking Donghyuck for encouraging him to apply, to just ‘ _dip his toes in and see what happens_ ’. Even though Donghyuck has scolded him for constantly thanking him, Mark still finds way to show how grateful he is for the younger. Whether that be when Donghyuck is feeling under the weather and Mark brings him chicken soup, fresh from the souphouse Taeyong works at, or when Donghyuck tosses out a small request to watch the stars and Mark plans a whole picnic for them to camp out and gaze at the diamonds in the sky.

Donghyuck throws a pointed stare over his shoulder at Mark, ignoring him and setting one of his boxes down on the desk in the corner of his dorm room. “We’ve been over this. Just because we’re together now, doesn’t mean we have to do _everything_ together. I don’t want you to get tired of me.”

Mark pushes himself up off of the bed across from Donghyuck’s and stands behind the younger to snake his arms around his waist, sinking his face into the younger’s back. “And I _told_ you.” He presses a fleeting kiss between Donghyuck’s shoulder blades. “I would never get tired of you. _You_ however, would get tired of me. Plus I can't kiss you at night.”

"You'll manage." Donghyuck’s back drums with a chuckle. “And that’s true. I don’t think I could handle your sleep-talking, or your dirty clothes in the bathroom. You live like a pig.”

Mark gasps, detaching himself from Donghyuck’s back to turn him around. “I do _not_.”

“Tell that to Johnny and Jaehyun.”

Mark pinches the younger’s waist in retaliation, to which Donghyuck shrieks and giggles. Donghyuck falls backwards on the bed, tugging Mark down with him. Mark is too preoccupied by his fingers assaulting Donghyuck’s sides, he doesn’t hear the box of Donghyuck’s stuff being kicked over by said boy. The box jingles as it lands on the floor with a thud and Mark winces, cautiously looking down at the younger. Donghyuck rolls his eyes, wrapping his hand around the back of Mark’s neck and mumbling ‘ _useless_ ’ before pulling him down and pressing their lips together in a gentle kiss. Kissing Donghyuck is always soft, sweet and gentle. Mark has no problem with that, he always finds it both relaxing and intoxicating to kiss Donghyuck. Said boy slides his hand up the side of Mark’s arm until it meets his other hand at the base of Mark’s neck. Their lips move in sync with each other, a routine only the both of them know. Mark has one hand planted on the bed beside Donghyuck’s head, while the other finds residence on his hip. Donghyuck tilts his head to deepen the kiss, taking every breath Mark has to offer and making him completely _breathless_. Just as Mark feels Donghyuck’s tongue, gentle and slow, sweep across his bottom lip, someone clears their throat and causes them to separate with a yelp.

“I know I’m the reason you guys are together now, but I’d appreciate it if you would keep your tongues to yourselves while I'm around.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes at Renjun, pushing a pouting Mark off of him and going to help the boy with his bags. When Mark is still sitting on Donghyuck’s bed, watching the two bring boxes in, Donghyuck scolds him. Mark obliges and begins to help bring Renjun’s things in. It’s funny, Mark thinks, how just months ago he thought he hated Renjun but now he’s one of his closest friends. Their first initial meeting after the party fiasco was awkward on Donghyuck’s end, and tense on Mark’s. To be fair, Mark had every reason to be upset and reluctant with Renjun. He _did_ think that Donghyuck and Renjun made out that night. After some explaining, Mark felt bad for being so hostile to Renjun when all the two boys had done that night was talk about Donghyuck’s feelings towards Mark.

“Useless.” Donghyuck mutters towards Mark when they’re finished bringing Renjun’s bags in.

Mark rolls his eyes before plopping himself down beside Donghyuck on his bed and pressing a kiss to his jaw. Across the room, Renjun feigns disgust and makes gagging noises.

Three months ago, he would have never thought he’d be in college, never mind in a relationship with his best friend. Three months ago, he never thought he’d lay awake at night and wonder just how lucky he is to have fallen in love and be loved by the boy who has constellations spread across his skin.

**Author's Note:**

> yall im sorry renjun, i just needed someone to help move the story owo  
> thank you so much for reading, kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/vfluttering)


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